Tilney, my Sweet!

What lies beyond your closet door? What secrets seep through your floor? A dark and ghost like past perhaps or maybe the very things you will never relent. The deepest and creepiest of your affections. Oh surroundings and lovely room please do well to keep these inner workings for without the secrecy I shall fear a terrible doom. Oh how I love a good romance or a suspenseful thriller. I am currently reading Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey and I do say that is rather good. But I will not tell you for the world what happens. But I will tell you it has on my toes. Would you like a sneak peak into my head and the effects of reading such a wicked, wicked book. Alright then imagine a young girl of about 17 with shoulder length bronze hair and rainy grey eyes. She lay on her canopy bed with a book under her roundish like nose. The girl kicks with happiness, punches with anger, and cries tears of joy all for a few silly words printed neatly on bound paper. What a silly girl to let books carry her away like this......And that my dear friends is the effect Northanger Abbey has on me. Well good day, for I do not want to keep Catherine and Tilney waiting too long.

A Taste of Life

My worst fears are life and death. Death is understandable, many people fear the end of their existence. But to be scared of life is horrid and I do not fancy the idea of me being a coward. It is so uncertain and leaves me with so many questions, that I know I am responsible for answering on my own. The same questions that are always there, there in the back of my mind and distract me from my studies. What will become of me? What lies beyond my parents’ front door? Will college take me or am I doomed to live in poverty with a job I do not enjoy? I am so frightened and the thoughts come and go more frequently. I figure they have increased because my initiation to that unknown is just on the horizon, so close I can almost taste it. It terrifies me and has for the longest time. I remember as a toddler, I would have random outbursts. From the backseat, my mother would all of a sudden hear my sobs and exclaiming that I did not want to grow up. I have no idea if that is unusual for so young a child. But these thoughts have been with me for so long that I know nothing but doubt. I know I am not alone with my worries, others share them. But there are people who do not have a share and I envy them for that. I yearn to be carefree, despite its foolishness. Then there are the less obvious worries in my shameful fear. A worry such as being alone for the rest of my life and I don’t just mean romance. My friends know what they want to do and have colleges in mind. Some of them have known from young ages. I am still not so sure of what I want to major in or even a career. I think I want to be some kind of writer but that is yet another uncertainty. I am not sure I will ever fit in anywhere or find a place in this crazy world. All of my friends are different from me and I wonder if I am an outsider in their eyes. Sure I share a common interest here and there, but is it enough? I have so many questions and doubts, that I am certain (for once) that they may never leave me. Well, sorry to burden you with the crazy labyrinth I like to call my head. I promise not all my blogs will be so glum, its just every once in awhile you have to vent. Until next time, poppets!

Our time period is such a bore! *yawn*

Have you ever wanted to just go back in time? I always want to expierence it, but not really live in it. Because you know the whole women oppression thing...but just to live a moment of it would be an amazing expierence indeedy. To be like or meet women like the Brontes, Jane Austen, and etc. or to attend an etravegant ball in a lavish gown where the men compete for your attention. A time where is was better to be a little plump! The time of characters like Jane Eyre, Elizabeth Bennet, Mr. Darcy (*fans self*), Fanny Price, Gemma Doyle, and Mr. Tiliney! Oh, to dream is a beutiful thing!

Oh! Woe is me!

One of my favorite actors died today! Heath Ledger was found dead from overdose in his apartment today. Its so sad because he was so talented and had a child. A sad, sad world and it just gets even more sad every day. It's a shock that such talent is gone from our entertainment industry. Take a moment of silent please to mourn for the recently deceased...........................Well, signing off. I am off to mourn in the confines of my room.

I am no superman or in my case superwoman.

There is some truth in Scrubs theme song. Hell, the whole song is true. I mean there is this program called post secondary, that I am sure you have heard of. I was pshyched about it and I was pumped to start attending college next year. Nothing could get in my way! Nothing but a huge void called my grade point average which is at a whopping 2.0! I was so disappointed and not just about the college thing. How could I have let my grades slip that bad? It makes me realize how much I am going to work my ass off this year. I'm no superwoman and that just means its common to make mistakes, but to clean them up is super. So time for me to buckle down and make sure that necessity comes before luxury. Hey, it won't be that hard! Right. *She says in a sarcastic voice.* Good day, my fellow Earthians (I am aware that its not a word, but who cares.)!